What Made You You?

I read something the other day that really touched me. Maria Consiglio said, “Both narcissists and empaths suffered from early childhood trauma. The empaths took that pain and became more compassionate, not wanting others to suffer the same fate they did, while the narcissists got angry and decided to take their anger out on the world. Vowing to put themselves first. Empaths were strong enough not to let the trauma destroy their goodness, while narcissists were weak and let the trauma overcome them.” As I have mentioned in a previous blog, I am an empath. I feel the pain of others. It can be very heavy at times, so I think that is what drew me to this quote. However, I can’t think of an early childhood trauma. I look back at some of the choices I made as a child and often wonder if I did experience something and just can’t remember it. I do know, though, that I did experience something at 19, which I have spoken about in one of my first blogs. After reading the above quote, I tried to think as to when I became on empath. I have always been kind to people and hated it when they suffered, but I think I was more sympathetic than I was empathetic. I think after my trauma at 19 was when I became more empathetic than sympathetic. So if I was to write a quote like the one above, I would take out “early childhood trauma” and just change it to trauma. I think that whether you are a narcissist or empath is already somewhat ingrained in you, and when you go through a trauma that personality trait becomes more prevalent. In my case, I became aware of other’s pain. I did not want them to feel what I had felt. I often mention what a toll empathy can take on a person; however, if I had to choose between being a narcissist or an empath, I would choose empath every time. Taking care of others, loving others, and even carrying their pain, is so much more of a reward than just carrying my own load. I love to see someone succeed and win. I love to see someone smile. I love that I have compassion. I guess this could be a positive spin on the trauma I went through because wanting people to win is a success story in itself.

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