I am going to do an exercise with my class. The exercise required me to look up several quotes. In my search of quotes, I ran into this one, “We accept the love we think we deserve.” Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I was a little stunned when I first read this quote, shook my head, and read it again.
First of all, I want to lead with telling you that I am not back stepping. I am; however, struggling a little and I can tell you that it is probably because I am exhausted. This is my first week back to work since we got out in May. I worked a camp the end of June, but that wasn’t a mental exhaustion. I read this quote and I had to agree. I think that I have never fallen in love because I have never felt that I deserved it, hence, I have always been alone. Isn’t that crazy? I never thought about it until I actually read this quote. I ask myself all the time what is wrong with me. Why can’t I find someone? I have even asked myself that lately do to zero success in the online dating pool. In reality, the only thing truly wrong with me is me. Subconsciously, I have never felt that I deserved love; consequently, I have never allowed myself to be loved.
Self-discovery. Isn’t it grand? I deserve love and I deserve love that is unbelievable. Love that leaves me speechless. Because I am one of a kind, one that will treat you so well that it is only me that you see. I am beautiful, inside and out. I have a good sense of humor. I am independent, but soft enough to let you help me. I will make sure you feel like a man, while I am your lady.
So from now on, I will be ready for the love I deserve. I will not be my own worst enemy talking me down every step along the way. I will no longer settle for less, and you should not either, ever.