First of all, I would love to give credit to the person who said this, but the author is unknown. Without further ado, the quote, “Being positive doesn’t mean you don’t ever have negative thoughts. It just means you don’t let those thoughts control your life.” I stumbled across this quote on, of all places, Facebook, and immediately I felt relief. Since I have started this blog, I have had so much personal growth but when I have had bad days I was afraid that I was regressing and I didn’t want to share those types of moments with you guys because I didn’t want you all to think that I was slipping. With all that said, this quote immediately touched me and made me realize that maybe you guys still need to see the vulnerable side of me as well. Of course, I don’t think I have held back too much, but now I know that it is okay for me to let go when I am stumbling.
Not today, I am not stumbling today, but I know there will be days. There will always be days that I don’t feel good enough. There will always be days that I wonder why I am still alone. There will always be days that I miss my really good friends. There will always be days that I wonder why I am in a different place than all my current friends and we can’t get on board or on sync with each other which makes me feel like I have no one when, in reality, I know that it is not true, but those days will creep up, but instead of being mad at myself, I will simply let myself have those days; however, I will not let those days control me.
As I have said in a previous blog. without the bad days, you wouldn’t appreciate the good. When I started this blog I was in a bad, dark place. I am pretty sure that part of the reason I was in that place was the fact that I didn’t want to burden anyone with the pain I carried with me. Although this blog has been 100% therapeutic I need to quit being so hard on myself because 25 blogs later really isn’t going to be my magical number that completely heals me. I need to accept the fact that negative thoughts will occur and it’s okay because what truly matters is what I do when those thoughts do appear.
Final thoughts….you are not weak or sad or pathetic for allowing negative thoughts to creep into your head. As a matter of fact, you are strong and beautiful because you allowed that pain and overcame and made room for the positive. Keep moving forward and keep looking for that rainbow; it will be completely worth it.