Say It Ain’t So

First of all, let me start off by saying I don’t like the word ain’t. I was in English in the 80s. Our English teachers didn’t play around back then. You did not use the word ain’t in his/her class. I did think, however, it was catchy in this title.

I usually blog in the morning, and I did start one, but I wasn’t feeling it. It just wasn’t what I wanted to post today, so I deleted it. Now I think I am ready.

About an hour ago I was looking at a TikTok I made of myself the day after my 50th. I put pictures to the song I’m Not 20 Anymore and I thought, for the first time ever, I am beautiful. Wow, as I typed those words out it felt strange. I wasn’t really raised to talk positively about myself, but, dang it, if I didn’t look at myself for the first time and see the beauty before I saw the flaws, and it felt good. Now don’t get too excited for me because tomorrow I may wake up and see the flaws and only the flaws (work in progress). But that’s just it, why do we have to see one or the other? Why can’t we see both because isn’t there beauty in our flaws? The flaws have made us who we are and I am a pretty amazing person. Remember yesterday’s blog. I am a bad bitch, well, trying to be. I have a pretty smile. Maybe it is because I have RBF as well, so the smile offsets that look. Ha ha. I have a personality where I want to see everyone succeed. I have cute little feet, I know weird, but I like them. I am strong and independent and love big when I love you. I do have flaws that offset each of those positives, but maybe, just maybe our flaws are intended to bring our beauty out even more.

I was so excited to hear myself call myself beautiful. There absolutely could be something to this blogging thing. Putting myself out there and revealing the true me is not only revealing the true me to you but to myself as well. My self-discovery and reinvention of myself have taken my emotional well-being in the right direction. My advice, love yourself. If the first thing you see is a flaw when you look at yourself, try to find what beautiful aspect comes out of that. After all, a rose isn’t just beautiful, those thorns are there for a reason. LOVE YOURSELF! Because once your learn to love yourself, then the love you feel for others will flourish also.

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