Copacetic

Have you ever said a word and thought, wow. that word sounds like its definition? Like you can say, “I’m alright” or “I’m fine” and many wonder if you are telling the truth, but if you say, “I’m copacetic.” People believe you. Copacetic basically means satisfied. Some synonyms are agreeable, all right, alright, fine, good, hunky-dory….you get the gist. In my head, when I hear someone use the word copacetic I think that that person must have just toked it up (Do people still say that? Haha) or they are extremely laid back. It’s a cool word, and I think I will make sure it appears in my vocabulary from now on because when I tell people I am okay they don’t seem to believe me.

I think those that have read my blogs might be thinking that I am on edge. I really just want them to see that life can be a shit hole sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you quit, which I haven’t. Do you know that no one in my family or my friends, besides my son and niece, have read my blogs? Do you think they are scared to see what is really going on inside of me? I have been wondering that. I am not really overly advertising it either, but I know they know I’ve started a blog. Honestly though, I write this for me, so it is okay, wait I mean, copacetic.

It is hard sometimes to see who is there for you and who isn’t. I admit that I am not perfect. I have this toxic trait that when I go through something I cut everyone off and go through it alone. I think that is because I don’t ever want to be a burden, and because of this, people tend to not understand me. My friend, Toni, that passed away, she understood that about me and never gave up on me. Then there was my dad, he just got me. I think he and I were very similar. so when you lose those people that just got you, it’s hard to find yourself again; however, I have hurt myself with this line of thinking. I have pushed people away because I just couldn’t accept that what I had with those two people was unique and special. I need to be copacetic with others. I told a student this year that seemed lost with her friendships. She talked about how her friends were just friends of convenience. I told her that it was okay to have friends of convenience. Don’t worry, I didn’t make it sound so cheap. I told her that those types of friends aren’t bad friends. They are friends that you can have so much fun with, but they just might not be the close friends you tell your deepest thoughts too. You can have those really close friends and you can have those friends of convenience. I thought all my friends should be really close friends because, let’s face it, I am an over thinker that loves to have thought provoking conversations. I like connecting on a deep level and sometimes those convenient friends aren’t those type of friends, but when you only are looking for one type of friend, your circle becomes extremely small. Oh, I know a small circle isn’t necessarily bad, but you get to be my age and all your friends are in a different place than you, that small circle you kept can be tough at times. I was a single mom that focused on my kid, and I will never, ever regret that. Watching him grow into a fine young man makes me smile because I know through all of our arguments and disagreements, he was listening, so I’ve done something right, but now I want to let loose and everyone around me is done. This is where the convenient friends would come into play. Hindsight, right?

Be copacetic in life. Quit complicating everything. Quit making things harder than it has to be. See what you want and go get it, but allow yourself to enjoy some laid back moments as well, and it is okay to have convenient friends. Not every relationship has to be on some deep connected level.

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